Tragic to Magic

Tragic to Magic
In writing my book “Tragic to Magic”, Anger, anxiety, depression or happiness, it’s a choice. I was using William Glaser’s choice theory as a foundation. Glasser suggests we have five genetic human needs. Our need for love and connection, our need for empowerment (a feeling that we are important to people: that we have an influence on our lives. The needs for freedom, for fun and survival. Survival isn’t normally a problem if we have our health, food, shelter and freedom from harm. Freedom and fun go out the window when the needs for love and connection and empowerment not being met. Love and connection and empowerment are usually met through relationships. It is suggested that over 95% of our problems are relationship issues. Past, present or lack of.
In my book I take it one set further and suggest that it is a distortion of our needs that create most problems.
Most of our destructive negative emotions are based on fear – a fear of lacking. If we fear that we are lacking something to be happy it in turn means that we are wanting something to be happy.
Wants are distortions of our needs.
The want for approval is a distortion of the need for love and connection.
The more you want it the more you must fear you are lacking it. Could I get my wife’s approval 100% of the time? No. You can’t get one person’s approval all the time and psychologically speaking, 20% of people wont like us for one reason or another. Social anxiety has its roots in this irrational illogical fear. It comes from the flight response.
The want for control is a distortion of the need for empowerment.
Anger, frustration have their roots in the want for control. The fight response. You can’t control your body as it ages. The unpredictability of life and people offers no control. Control is an illusion. We can have an influence over things be that’s where it ends. The more we want control the more out of control things seem.
The want for security is a distortion of the need for survival.
Nothing is permanent, so nothing is secure. Every relationship ends. Jobs come and go, money comes and goes. The more you want security the more insecure you feel.